A van crashed into a nearby house earlier this evening.
My wife and I were at home considering dinner at our favorite Mexican eatery when we heard what sounded like an avalanche. The electricity flickered off and on and then stayed off. We rushed to the window to see neighbors running down the street. That’s when I put some pants on and ventured out.
About a third of the van was in the house. The driver fled the scene but was kind enough to turn the van’s hazard lights on before running away. My wife joined me and a few other neighbors to gawk at the scene and snap a few photos. I wanted to submit a photo to a news station, but Laura saw this as rude. Needless to say, someone else got their photo on TV.
So after a few slack-jawed moments, we went back into our house and got dressed for a refried bean fiesta. But before we left, I noticed a camera man walking through our yard, on his way to the scene. That’s when I saw her – Julie Fine from WPXI!
Julie is one of my favorite reporters. She’s quite professional and never looks the same twice. “Hold on!” I told Laura as I left her at the car and headed for the crowd. I could see that Julie was asking for testimonials from my neighbors.
For some reason or another, I looked back at the car where I left Laura. She was motioning me to return to the car. I turned around like a sucker. She was hungry.
The story is here. They may post Julie Fine’s video later. (I already saw the segment on the 10:00 news . You’ll see my neighbors but you won’t see me.)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sing Talk: An Afternoon With Ke$ha
So far, the worst part about this pregnancy (for me) is the regular cleaning of the box containing our cat turds and piss clumps. I often scoop the soiled sand rather hastily, kicking up particles into my mouth, my hair and, of course, onto my clothes. (Perhaps I should see this as practice for the human waste coming soon.)
And even though baby has yet to arrive, it’s rare that I get a chance to enjoy myself. On Saturday night, I got the call that would change everything. My friend Pete invited me to see Kesha (or Ke$ha if you want to be technical about it) on Sunday afternoon in Oakland, next to the Cathedral of Learning. Watching her perform dirty songs in skanky outfits would be the perfect after-Church activity.
The concert was outdoors, and we couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was just the right amount of warm and cool; perfect cola-sippin’ weather.
The die-hard Kesha fans took the fist dozen or so rows, tossing everything from clothes to crutches (I have the pictures to prove this). During the 45 minute free show, she talked dirty, welcomed Santa Claus to the stage and had some guy dressed as a human wang hop around the stage. It was the ideal freak show, but I felt sorry for Pete who, at one point, just stood there, staring at the sidewalk with his arms crossed. I told him to at least pretend he was excited before someone took a video and posted it on You Tube with the title “Unenthusiastic Ke$ha Fan.”
I have to admit that it seemed out of place to have an artist like Kesha in the middle of Pittsburgh’s academic capital. But on the other hand, it also made the most sense (i.e. drunken student bodies).
It was fun but in the back of my mind I knew piss clumps awaited me at home. And you can imagine the size of these clumps when the urine comes from a +30 pound cat. That’s right. Thirty pounds.
And even though baby has yet to arrive, it’s rare that I get a chance to enjoy myself. On Saturday night, I got the call that would change everything. My friend Pete invited me to see Kesha (or Ke$ha if you want to be technical about it) on Sunday afternoon in Oakland, next to the Cathedral of Learning. Watching her perform dirty songs in skanky outfits would be the perfect after-Church activity.
The concert was outdoors, and we couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was just the right amount of warm and cool; perfect cola-sippin’ weather.
The die-hard Kesha fans took the fist dozen or so rows, tossing everything from clothes to crutches (I have the pictures to prove this). During the 45 minute free show, she talked dirty, welcomed Santa Claus to the stage and had some guy dressed as a human wang hop around the stage. It was the ideal freak show, but I felt sorry for Pete who, at one point, just stood there, staring at the sidewalk with his arms crossed. I told him to at least pretend he was excited before someone took a video and posted it on You Tube with the title “Unenthusiastic Ke$ha Fan.”
I have to admit that it seemed out of place to have an artist like Kesha in the middle of Pittsburgh’s academic capital. But on the other hand, it also made the most sense (i.e. drunken student bodies).
It was fun but in the back of my mind I knew piss clumps awaited me at home. And you can imagine the size of these clumps when the urine comes from a +30 pound cat. That’s right. Thirty pounds.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Oh Baby
As I prepare myself for a sleepless life full of poop and puke on my clothes (or so I’m told), I’ve also been preparing the baby room for future life. Laura’s done most of the work, but yesterday I replaced the room’s two electrical outlets with new ones… and I’m proud of this.
The room is ready for a fresh paint job, a crib and other baby related things. Painting and decorating should be interesting since someone I live with now tends to have random breakdowns about things like potatoes and blankets.
The room is ready for a fresh paint job, a crib and other baby related things. Painting and decorating should be interesting since someone I live with now tends to have random breakdowns about things like potatoes and blankets. Saturday, February 5, 2011
Whale of a Chicken Sandwich
Coming from a Steelers Fan Friday at work, I was hungry for some good old “black and gold” cooking. I knew Eat N Park would kill my craving. (NOTE: If you think this is a promotional post for Eat N Park, you are wrong! Read on.)
From the customers to the stuff for sale in the foyer, we arrived to a cluster of black and yellow. I felt good… I felt alive… I felt like devouring their famous Whale of a Cod Fish Sandwich!
So that’s what I ordered. While waiting for my boatload of cod to arrive, I suppressed my seafood appetite with some clam chowder from the salad bar. (Delicious.) When my cod arrived, I lathered it with tartar sauce and gave the bun a gentle squeeze. (So soft.)
I thought, “Oh my cod!” after the third bite, realizing that it wasn’t fish – it was chicken! I smothered a chicken fillet with tartar sauce and was savoring the flavor. (Disgusting.) If I wasn’t feeling so happy in the first place, I may have scalded someone with hot chowder, but it was all good! The waitress was quick to give me the cod I so wanted.
The Whale of a Cod Fish Sandwich from Eat N Park, paired with their delicious Friday Clam Chowder, was the perfect meal for a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
(Sorry for the promo!)
From the customers to the stuff for sale in the foyer, we arrived to a cluster of black and yellow. I felt good… I felt alive… I felt like devouring their famous Whale of a Cod Fish Sandwich!
So that’s what I ordered. While waiting for my boatload of cod to arrive, I suppressed my seafood appetite with some clam chowder from the salad bar. (Delicious.) When my cod arrived, I lathered it with tartar sauce and gave the bun a gentle squeeze. (So soft.)
I thought, “Oh my cod!” after the third bite, realizing that it wasn’t fish – it was chicken! I smothered a chicken fillet with tartar sauce and was savoring the flavor. (Disgusting.) If I wasn’t feeling so happy in the first place, I may have scalded someone with hot chowder, but it was all good! The waitress was quick to give me the cod I so wanted.
The Whale of a Cod Fish Sandwich from Eat N Park, paired with their delicious Friday Clam Chowder, was the perfect meal for a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
(Sorry for the promo!)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Best Bye
I went to Best Buy today intending to use a few gift cards I received for Christmas. In the past, I could walk around BB and find half a dozen things I wouldn’t mind taking home. These days however, all I ever seem to do is walk around the store.
Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but I just see a lot of their merchandise as garbage in five years. The store is basically centered on the latest technology and technology is usually outdated within a month from purchase, right?
Looking for something to buy was a challenge, but the characters I met were well worth it. I asked one of their “associates” about a sound card that I could plug my keyboard into.
“Well what kind of keyboard are you looking to plug into it?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, one for typing or one for music?”
Why in the hell would I want to plug a “typing” keyboard into a SOUND card? The guy was also playing with his 3G, wi-fi, whatever the hell they call it, phone half the time I was talking with him.
So after a long search, I found a video game and a DVD – a combined value of $40. I went to one of the random new checkouts in the middle of the store and the cashier was lost in his own computer world.
“Excuse me?” I asked. No answer, so I tried again.
“Hi, can I check out here?” Still no answer, so I stood there until he was done.
“Hi, can I help you?” he finally asked.
He charged me $9,999.99 for the game and DVD. Long story short, I should have stood in the winding line at the front of the store because by the time he figured it all out and successfully read my gift cards, I would have been out of the store and on my way home.
I hate shopping!
Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but I just see a lot of their merchandise as garbage in five years. The store is basically centered on the latest technology and technology is usually outdated within a month from purchase, right?
Looking for something to buy was a challenge, but the characters I met were well worth it. I asked one of their “associates” about a sound card that I could plug my keyboard into.
“Well what kind of keyboard are you looking to plug into it?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, one for typing or one for music?”
Why in the hell would I want to plug a “typing” keyboard into a SOUND card? The guy was also playing with his 3G, wi-fi, whatever the hell they call it, phone half the time I was talking with him.
So after a long search, I found a video game and a DVD – a combined value of $40. I went to one of the random new checkouts in the middle of the store and the cashier was lost in his own computer world.
“Excuse me?” I asked. No answer, so I tried again.
“Hi, can I check out here?” Still no answer, so I stood there until he was done.
“Hi, can I help you?” he finally asked.
He charged me $9,999.99 for the game and DVD. Long story short, I should have stood in the winding line at the front of the store because by the time he figured it all out and successfully read my gift cards, I would have been out of the store and on my way home.
I hate shopping!
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Number You Have Dialed...
How many times have you tried leaving a message and get the lengthy “the number you have dialed is not available” greeting? You know the one. In fact, you can probably recite the whole thing word for word and not even know it!
Sometimes this robot message comes after your friend’s personal greeting: “Hi, this is Tammy. I can’t take your call at this time, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call. Thanks!” Then it’s followed by a robot with basically the same message: “The number you have dialed is not available. Please leave your message after the tone. To leave a callback number, press 5 now. When you are finished recording your message, hang up or press 1 for more options.” Really?! Who doesn’t know what to do after the beep at this point in human history?
Of course, one can bypass the message by dialing a secret number. But of course, that number is different with each person you call. Dialing 1 will work if you’re calling a Verizon customer, but is useless if you’re calling someone with T-Mobile. If you try to bypass the message but use the wrong number, you will undoubtedly extend the message with something like “We’re sorry. That is not an option,” followed by more nonsense.
I know it’s unlike me to complain about voicemail greetings. I admit it’s kind of pathetic, but it’s been a while since my last post and just had to share this little diatribe.
But maybe it’s more than that. Maybe I dislike the robot message because it’s so long that callers can often wait well over a minute simply waiting for the stupid tone at the end. Call me paranoid but I think it may also be a strategy for the phone companies to “cut” or “steal” some of customers’ minutes.
How often do you go over your minutes each month? Maybe I should ask how many of you check your statements each month. Does anyone actually call people anymore, or is it all texting now?
Sometimes this robot message comes after your friend’s personal greeting: “Hi, this is Tammy. I can’t take your call at this time, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call. Thanks!” Then it’s followed by a robot with basically the same message: “The number you have dialed is not available. Please leave your message after the tone. To leave a callback number, press 5 now. When you are finished recording your message, hang up or press 1 for more options.” Really?! Who doesn’t know what to do after the beep at this point in human history?
Of course, one can bypass the message by dialing a secret number. But of course, that number is different with each person you call. Dialing 1 will work if you’re calling a Verizon customer, but is useless if you’re calling someone with T-Mobile. If you try to bypass the message but use the wrong number, you will undoubtedly extend the message with something like “We’re sorry. That is not an option,” followed by more nonsense.
I know it’s unlike me to complain about voicemail greetings. I admit it’s kind of pathetic, but it’s been a while since my last post and just had to share this little diatribe.
But maybe it’s more than that. Maybe I dislike the robot message because it’s so long that callers can often wait well over a minute simply waiting for the stupid tone at the end. Call me paranoid but I think it may also be a strategy for the phone companies to “cut” or “steal” some of customers’ minutes.
How often do you go over your minutes each month? Maybe I should ask how many of you check your statements each month. Does anyone actually call people anymore, or is it all texting now?
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