Restroom Confessions

One night about five years ago, my friend and I had dinner at the Waterfront. Afterwards, went in a department store to browse around and kill some time. I must have had a lot to drink, because I had to use the restroom right away. (Keep in mind that it wasn’t alcohol I’d been drinking… I think).

I went into the first available stall and, well, did my thing. Relieved, I turned around and strutted out the stall toward the sink only to find… a girl washing her hands! “What is she doing in the men’s room?” I thought. Then that sinking feeling came over me. I was in the women’s room.

By this time I felt much smaller than I already was. I had to get out of there quickly, but I still had to wash my hands. (I may be dumb, but I’m certainly not unsanitary.)

I approached the sink next to the girl washing her hands. I didn’t look at her, but I could feel her looking at me. “Looks like I’m in the wrong restroom,” I said to her, realizing the occupied stalls behind us contained several more women. “This is so embarrassing,” I assured them all as I tore off a wad of paper towels and got the hell out of there.

Looking back, I guess there were a few signs I should have noticed after I missing the obvious one on the door to the restroom. One of which was the lack of urinals. That should have been a dead giveaway.

I’m somewhat embarrassed by this story, but more so for the women in the restroom. I can only imagine what they thought seeing a pair of shoes facing the toilet in the next stall.

The Problem With America

In a nutshell, the problem with America is its citizens. Let me explain…

People are too greedy. They want stuff. They love stuff. They can’t get enough electronics and smart phones with unlimited internet access that cost so much to maintain. However, the cost wouldn’t be a problem if people had the money to pay for the service.

And why don’t they have any money? Because hardly anyone has a job (or career for that matter). And this has to do with the lack of ambition. Hardly anyone is concerned about bettering themselves. This lack of ambition yields lack of motivation, purpose and, most importantly, passion. I mean, what are YOU passionate about? Are you passionate about buying electronics?

I’ve got to hand it to all the marketing departments out there. So many people choose toys over food!

So if people lack passion, motivation, etc, they get stuck with a job they don’t like. They dread going to work every day, and this obviously makes life miserable. And the only way happiness is achieved (or so they think) is to buy more stuff! Isn’t this death cycle obvious?!

And when they’re stuck in a job they hate, they’re usually not very good at it (or at least don’t put their “all” into it) and so they don’t earn as much as they could if they did something they enjoy. And, of course, no money gets you no house.

What it comes down to is priorities. Many of us have the wrong priorities and often go broke trying to live a life we can’t afford. We need more people earning their lifestyle. Many Americans need to set out to do something worthwhile, something they feel is important and let money take the backseat for a while. Because if you’re good at what you do and you’re truly passionate, money will come to you. I honestly believe this.

The secrets:

1. Do what you love.
2. Spend wisely.
3. Save.
4. Enjoy life (not stuff).

Problems solved!

This Just In...

I’ve been lacking something lately. Maybe it’s motivation. Maybe it’s writer’s block. Maybe I’m just stuck in inertia. I’m not sure.

I always have a dozen ideas swimming in my head at any given moment, but I’m also hesitant to act on them. (Not enough time in the day? Is that a good excuse?)

You’ve probably seen my new Gray Collars blog. I’m hoping to use it as a springboard for my book (which I hope to publish while I’m still young and attractive enough to publicize it).

Maybe I should stop writing about writing and actually write. I’m considering returning to fiction (this was the reason I decided to become a writer in the first place). With fiction, you can do anything, go anywhere and be anyone. It’s a good fix for someone in a routine.

I am Not Afraid of Dead Bodies

I am not afraid of dead bodies. I want to make that clear.
Nearly every day, my coworkers will pass my basement office and say things like, “Ohhh. You’re near the morgue. That’s creepy!”

The truth is that it’s not creepy for two reasons. The first is that a morgue is intended to temporarily store the deceased – not the living dead. There’s no one hungry for brains around here.

And second (and probably most importantly) the morgue is no longer a morgue. It’s now used as a storage room for contractors and the maintenance department. The morgue hasn’t been a morgue for years.

So why are so many people afraid of dead bodies and the morgues that house them? Is it an uncomfortable reminder that death catches all?

No Idea About Ikea

Tonight I was lost in the furniture maze known as Ikea. It was Laura’s idea to go there and so I moped along. My feet were throbbing five minutes after we walked through the entrance and I needed a break.

“Hold on,” I say to Laura, “I want to see what’s on the menu.” So she looks at some gizmo while I take a few steps toward the Swedish meatball cafeteria (or whatever they call it).

“Ah,” I say to myself. “Still got those meatballs.” When I turn around, Laura is gone! (In retrospect, I think she took advantage of the 30 seconds it took for me to turn around and glance at the meatball menu. She knew I would complain the whole time.)

So I start walking that stupid path with the arrows, hoping to find her. She couldn’t have gone far, right? And of course everyone’s stopping along the path, admiring the Hoobeenfartens and the Halfabargans and I can’t get through! So I cut through a few of those “secret paths” between departments. (In fact, I’m not sure Ikea is divided by departments. It’s more organized like a mess.)

Anyway, I’m cutting through paths nearly everywhere I see one and before I know it, I’m lost. Laura is nowhere to be found and I’ve seen the same people three times. And I know I wasn’t going in circles since the place is not designed that way. I’m pretty sure I was walking in triangles.

I eventually returned to the entrance and headed out the door. I had enough of the rat maze. I would meet up with Laura later, after I went to Toys R Us. (I had more fun there.)

Two Goals: More Exercise and Increase Sitting

And by “sitting,” I mean writing. It’s really hard to walk and write. I’ve tried.

It’s always a challenge for me to write when the weather is nice, but I want, no, need to make a solid effort to post more often. And, more importantly, I need to define a theme. These posts have been somewhat arbitrary with no real sense of direction, and I’m sick of it!

In fact I may have to create a whole new blog at this point… with a title that defines the theme… the theme that may or may not exist.

This blog dates back to 2007 and, in my opinion, has nothing substantial to offer. And lately I’m posting at an average of once a month! Am I for real with a post once a month? Sounds like I’m still at the wannabe status. If I’m really a writer, I need to step it up.

You may recall the post from January 17 when I considered turning this into a blog about education and social class struggles that I face every day. This is still a possibility as it consumes my everyday life.

Laura will be taking a mini vacation with her sister in a week or so. This would be a great time to let loose and define this (or another) blog.

So I’m going to attempt to get more exercise while sitting on my butt and writing every day. It just has to be a part of my daily routine.

Stay posted.

A Beautiful Book

A colleague of mine has just published her first book, Operation Beautiful. I was so excited to grab a copy that I found my hands pressed to my mouth in anticipation as the sales associate led me to the self help section. I must have looked like a freak, but I was lucky to grab the last one. Yes!

Seeing her book gave me such happiness because I too know the dream… the dream of seeing your book on the shelf.

So if you’re reading this, Caitlin Boyle, congratulations on achieving this awesome milestone. You have earned it!