I have a lot of good ideas that don’t always make it onto my blogs, but I make sure to share most of my clever thoughts with my wife. Sometimes I wish her brain was the Internet, posting my ideas instantly to the web. However there would be a few downsides to this ability… like sharing images of me in my Simpson boxers and white socks. It’s really an unprofessional image.
Another humiliating scene occurs almost every time I enter a particular restroom. For some reason, this restroom is a regular hangout for sewer flies. If you’re unfamiliar with them, they’re little black flies with wide wings… and when you pour water on them, black stuff washes off. It’s probably poop.
These little jerks like to hang around the urinal, and so when I try to use it, they get into an uproar and swarm around, which makes me nervous since they’re basically little poop creatures. Taking aim just angers them more, but trying to avoid them from landing on, um, me looks ridiculous… and can sometimes be messy.
“But Jon,” you may ask, “Why don’t you just use another restroom?” Well it’s because all the other restrooms are too far away. And I don’t like flies telling me what to do because if I used another bathroom, that’s exactly what happens. The flies basically win.
I did not share this experience with my wife, but once she finds out I posted this story, she’ll probably go back to using her maiden name.
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