Thanks for the Advice I Didn't Need

People have been giving me (the expectant parent) all kinds of advice I didn’t ask for during the last nine months or so.

Below are some of the most popular pieces of advice I’ve received since we were expecting.

Your life is never going to be the same.
Well, of course it’s not. We’re growing a human.
Sometimes people say this one with a “you’re screwed now” tone while others give a more sincere “this is an unbelievable blessing” vibe. Either way, for better or for worse, things are going to change. Duh.

When is the due date?
I’ve told you a half dozen times, and I really don’t want to have to say it again. (This one isn’t advice, but I’m just tired of the question.)

Get your sleep now. / Sleep as much as you can.
Should I sleep for a solid month? Two months? What about my job? Should I quit? Really, I’m not too worried about this one. If I can attend college classes, work part-time and hold an internship simultaneously, I should be able to add a baby to my current “work and sleep” schedule.

You’re going to be a daddy.
Yes, I know. I don’t have the uterus.

Come to think of it, none of this is really advice... just things people feel the need to say… every day.