No Idea About Ikea

Tonight I was lost in the furniture maze known as Ikea. It was Laura’s idea to go there and so I moped along. My feet were throbbing five minutes after we walked through the entrance and I needed a break.

“Hold on,” I say to Laura, “I want to see what’s on the menu.” So she looks at some gizmo while I take a few steps toward the Swedish meatball cafeteria (or whatever they call it).

“Ah,” I say to myself. “Still got those meatballs.” When I turn around, Laura is gone! (In retrospect, I think she took advantage of the 30 seconds it took for me to turn around and glance at the meatball menu. She knew I would complain the whole time.)

So I start walking that stupid path with the arrows, hoping to find her. She couldn’t have gone far, right? And of course everyone’s stopping along the path, admiring the Hoobeenfartens and the Halfabargans and I can’t get through! So I cut through a few of those “secret paths” between departments. (In fact, I’m not sure Ikea is divided by departments. It’s more organized like a mess.)

Anyway, I’m cutting through paths nearly everywhere I see one and before I know it, I’m lost. Laura is nowhere to be found and I’ve seen the same people three times. And I know I wasn’t going in circles since the place is not designed that way. I’m pretty sure I was walking in triangles.

I eventually returned to the entrance and headed out the door. I had enough of the rat maze. I would meet up with Laura later, after I went to Toys R Us. (I had more fun there.)