The Predicament

They call me The Predicament. I’m borderline mentally challenged, but I look really good. At night, I like to walk around Jersey shore carnivals with dimwits who look a lot like me. We make fun of people who ain’t like us. We’re tan, tone and tacky. Sometimes we fight people. I run more oil through my hair than I do across my bread while I eat spaghetti. The “Jersey Shore” show inspired me to bring out all the dumb Italian that I have. Do you have any Italian in you? Do you want some, baby?



That’s what I would probably say if I was succumbing to this invasion of “The Jersey Shore.” It looks as though New Jersey is shaping up to be the new West Virginia (if it hasn’t already).

But while everyone “makes fun” of this group and their now famous “fist-pumping” and stupid nicknames, it’s only a matter of time before people start to adopt this behavior as their own.
I saw this same thing happen in high school. The “skater kids” made fun of rap and “thug life” so much that it became their norm. They listened to rap and started to talk “gangsta” talk. I laughed at them every day, for they became what they had once stood against. Dumb kids totally under the influence… of the media.

So when I see these people punching the air like half-ass Arsenio Halls, I’m taken back to the high school confusion of teasing a culture and eventually accepting it.

Jeez… you don’t think anyone will accept this, do you?